For the Record: Is Japan Hi-Tech? (Part 2)

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Paul was a gentleman and allowed me to choose which side each of us would be supporting, which was great for me because I was then able to choose the correct side. Japan is indeed high tech. Would a low tech country have Gundam robots to protect book stores?

Reading is fundamental. Also compulsory.

No, they wouldn't.

I might as well try to counter some of what Paul said specifically though.

1. Plumbing
Clearly Paul got the short end of the quarter inch copper tubing when it came to plumbing in his old apartment, but that's just life. It's a roll of the dice and sometimes you end up with an electrocution prone jury-rigged laundry water pump for a shower. You're going to blame a nation for that?
Let me introduce you to my shower. Or at least, its control panel:

It can do a couple of neat things. Let's look at those four square buttons at the bottom. From left to right we have dry, cool air, warm air, and ventilation. Yes, I have a built in air conditioner and heater in my shower. And of course you can set a timer for each one of those, because why not? It also has a low power ventilator that runs 24 hours a day. I don't know what kind of wizard magic is in this thing, but I have never had to put so little effort into keeping my shower mildew free. I mentioned this to my wife once and she said "that's because I clean it" but I still think it's mostly wizard magic.
I haven't even told you about my bath! If for some reason you spend a really long time in there and the water gets cold, no problem! Just push the button and the water gets hot again. It doesn't add new hot water, mind you, it just makes the water hot again. But don't touch the little port where the heat comes out of because according to the instructions, and my Japanese isn't perfect so I could be misreading this but, you will catch fire underwater.

What else can I say about Japanese plumbing? Well, I would be remiss to not make good on Paul's foreshadowing that I would talk about their amazing future toilets. I'll make this brief, because everyone has already heard all about these things. "Oh those weird Japanese with their weird toilets that shoot water weirdly," people laugh as they grab their toilet paper. NO! You people are weird! Toilet paper is just paper and paper is dead trees. What are we, a people of hobos living in the woods? This isn't about Japan being high tech here, this is the rest of the world sitting on devices no more sophisticated than what a pre-Renaissance serf would sit on on his little serf farm in the year of our Lord 1352. Yeah, the plumbing has improved, but the device itself is still the humble seat it has always been. Cold in winter and incapable of giving massages.

Massage is the green button. I haven't pushed it yet. I am Willy Wonka and this is my Wonkavator.

Moving on.

2. Fax
If it ain't broke, don't fix it. There's a pun in there that I just barely dodged. Phew! Anyway yeah, still using the fax is a little weird. But it's not like they don't have email. They do! In fact, their mobile phones since forever ago have all used email instead of text messages. You can do some fancy stuff without being stuck with text messaging limitations. Like Emoji!

Yeah, I know American phones have emoji now, but they're from Japan! Every time I'm in the states, and go to text with my trusty American Verizon phone, I feel like I'm sending a telegram back in 19-dickety-3. "HI JIM. STOP. WANT 2 MEET UP? STOP. K, CU THEN. STOP." The last stop was sincere because I only have 160 characters to work with in this wasteland. Might as well fax.

3. Media Formats
I yield to Paul on this one. I rented DVDs at my local video rental shop today. Yes, video rental shops still exist here. And they're popular.

4. NFC Cards
I'm going to diverge from Paul now and talk about the easy to use NFC cards. NFC stands for Near Field Communication and it's used in Japanese mobile phones and train cards. It basically just allows you to transfer information by touching your phone or card to a receiver. I don't have a phone that can do that, but I do have a Pasmo card which is one of what feels like 100 different varieties of similar cards in Japan. They started simply as train passes. You put cash on the card at the station, and you can beep your way through the ticket gate so you don't have to actually buy a ticket. A great time saver of course, but how could it be better? If you can use the cards to buy anything! And now you can, for the most part. 

Pasmo: takes you anywhere you want to be

When I first arrived in Japan in 2008 the cards were pretty limited. I could use my Icoca card (another variety) only around Osaka. I couldn't use it in Tokyo, or down south in Hakata or wherever. You can now though! All the cards are on the same system now (or something, I don't know how it works) so you can use one card anywhere in Japan. Also, there are tons and tons of stores outside of train stations that you can use them in too. Convenience stores and vending machines are a given, but these cards can be used in supermarkets, and plenty of other crazy places. In fact you can even use them to buy games on your Wii U! Which I guess would be convenient if anyone owned a Wii U.

5. Internet Speed
Google has done an excellent job of bringing gigabit internet to the American masses. According to Google, their Google Fiber is "100 times faster" than their competitor's broadband internet solutions. As they roll it out in different cities in the US, people are getting a glimpse of the speed of the future. Or present day Japan. Well, half the speed of present day Japan. And Google Fiber is about $20 more expensive. Though, admittedly Japan doesn't have the fastest internet in the world. That honor belongs to Hong Kong, followed by South Korea, with Japan next in line. America is unluckily thirteenth. 
Japan is also pushing to have the world's fastest wifi blanketing the country before the 2020 Olympic games in Tokyo. The goal is download speeds of 100 gigabytes a second, which is fast enough to download the HD version of the Back to the Future trilogy, or the HD version of the Godfather trilogy, or the HD version of the Lord of the Rings trilogy (minus one or two of the endings) in one second. That's faster than using a Bluray as a Frisbee!

Japan is clearly a high tech country, though admittedly sometimes that's difficult to see. Maybe the best way to sum up Japan and technology is that they like their technology like they like their coffee: fast, conveniently everywhere, and slightly weird when viewed by the outside world.

For the Record: Is Japan Hi-Tech? (Part 1)

It's been a while since Joe and I riffed together about Japan, and I know that I for one have missed his wit around here. Thusly, I've invited him to join m, once again providing the counterpoint for a topic we've both thought and talked a lot about: the dichotomous nature of technology in Japan. Just as a disclaimer, we both recognize that neither "side" is right, and neither of us feel vehemently one way or the other. But rather than lay out overly cautious and qualified articles about the delicate balance of tradition and technology, we present our second installment of For the Record.

So, is Japan the super hi-tech country that popular media make it out to be? The answer is both "yes" and "no;" but moreso "no."

"Whoa whoa whoa," I can almost hear you protesting. "We're talking about Japan, right? The land of dancing robots and holographic pop stars. And I'm pretty sure they are to thank for giant mechs. What are you talking about, Paul?"

Yes, dear reader, you're right. They should be credited those things. And I know that Japan revolutionized the digital pet industry, as well. But that's just part of the picture. There are some things you just don't learn about Japan through mainstream sources, and many of them, while perhaps charming or existent for good reason, run counter to the popular narrative of Japan as the mecca of technology (I was tempted to write "mecca of techa, but I knew that would be kind of lame). Here are just a few of them:

1. Plumbing

Did I ever tell you about the old apartment I lived in during my stint as an ALT in Itami? My impression is that it was built in the 50's and then basically just left alone, aside from being wired for internet (I'll grant Japan that - its broadband penetration rate is legit). Sure, I had an air conditioner/heater, there is that. But the water situation...

Here. I can't be bothered to look for a picture of my old kitchen sink, but this photo is almost identical. Thank you, internet!



You have your faucet, which offers water of one temperature - ground water temperature. Then you have your grimey gas heater for when you want hot water. I don't know much about pipes or gas, but isn't there a simpler way to get hot water? I've never seen a modern home in the US equipped with water-heater-boxes.

Similarly my shower (whoops, I mean "bath," as I had no proper shower) operated only in cold mode. If I wanted to heat it, I had to fill my tub and then light an adjacent gas-fueled heater. Yes, just like how you'd heat water on your stovetop if you wanted to make tea or scald an interloper, this was part of my daily bathing ritual. And because I didn't have any integrated shower head/nozzle, whoever lived there before me had jury-rigged a laundry water pump and attached it to a hose and shower head. I eventually had to replace that pump and discovered that such devices are not intended for bathing. Electrocution was a very real concern at times. All because my old apartment, located about 20 minutes by train from Osaka, did not include modern plumbing.

Then there are the toilets. I'm sure Joe will extol the virtues of the hi-tech Japanese toilet, and I'll grant that they are pretty friggin' awesome. When you can find them. On some occasions your only option will be the exact opposite of that, which is a hole in the ground. My friend Shadow wrote a pretty good piece about this some time ago. Now I've read that the, ahem...posture required for using these things is superior to sitting down. I also had some cheeky student tell me that using these toilets promotes strong knees. Phff.

"Behold the wonders of the Japanese toilet!" - Shadow, probably.

2. Fax

Question for any of you who work or have worked in an office: how often do you use your fax machine? Right. Now tell that to Japan. For all their fancy broadband, some Japanese organizations are awfully slow to realize that scanners and email are things.

Exactly.

3. Media Formats

When I was in Japan, I saw a lot of VHS and mini discs.. My TV had an integrated VHS. Granted, this was a few years ago; maybe by now Japan has advanced to the DVD/DIVX format war. I guess I might be looking at a proverbial mote in this case, considering we have our own hipster-shaped planks trying to resurrect vinyl records. But then again we don't purport to be the society of tomorrow!

4. TV Props

Have you ever watched Japanese talk or variety shows? One thing I've noticed is that instead of using blue screens and super cool graphics, a lot of J-programs use all kinds of arts-and-craftsy looking cutouts and dioramas. They're often attention-grabbing or cute, and they give the people on screen something to hold or do. But I can't help thinking that some poor guy behind the scenes probably spent like an hour creating that elaborate cue card that's only going to be shown for 5 seconds. And then what do they do with it? Same thing they do with the billions of disposable wooden chopsticks they go through, I guess.

Feed them to Matsuko Deluxe (not pictured).

Pictured.

5. Chopsticks

Now don't get me wrong - I love a good pair of chopsticks. And I know this is not just a Japan thing. But hi-tech they are not. I think Jerry Seinfeld said it nicely.

I could go on, but I think it's pretty clear: Japan may have some tricks up its sleeve, but it's just not the hi-tech paradise it's made out to be.

Edited 8/14/2014: I had incorrectly called Matsuko Deluxe "Mariko Deluxe." Whoops.

Toilet technology

In honor of this month's Japan Blog Matsuri, hosted by Dumb Otaku, I've decided to revisit a topic that Shadow wrote a little bit about and that I explored back in my vlogging days: toilets.

Interestingly, Japan's toilet population is probably fairly representative of Japanese technology as a whole - they got it all, from cutting edge to simple Simon. I mean, the disparity can be pretty shocking.

First off, this is your basic hole in the ground. And trust me, it's exactly what it looks like. These babies are known here as 和式 (washiki; Japanese style). If the range of toilets in Japan were a Taco Bell (as apt an analogy as it is), this wouldn't even be a menu item. It would be one of those packets of free hot sauce.

When you have to go to the bathroom, these things are scary, especially your first time. I still remember mine vividly. Which way do you face? Is there going to be any...splashage? Is this possible while wearing these pants? When presented with a squatter toilet, these are all valid questions. In fact, your first time using one you may experience a degree of panic. I did. I mean, I had never had to aim to, uh, do that kind of business before. And there's not much time to plan your approach, either - if you didn't really have to go, you wouldn't be using one of these things. Don't even get me started on having to use one while wearing a suit. For now, let's go to the tape. Here's a scene from the 1992 movie Mr. Baseball, in which Tom Selleck demonstrates a perfectly understandable reaction to the squatter:

Once last year I had some students ask me what kind of things surprised me when I came to Japan. I told them that actually not too many things were that shocking to me, but that I couldn't understand why such an advanced country still has so many squatter toilets. One of the boys grinned and told me that these toilets are one reason why Japanese athletes have such strong knees. Kids do say the stupidest darndest things. I suspect they're still being made because of their cleanliness, but I think that's overrated. After all, I've never heard of anyone catching any toilet-borne diseases.

Anyway, I suppose we've dwelt long enough on the squatter. Next, you have your basic toilets as we in West would recognize them - 洋式 (yōshiki; Western style). Bowl, seat, lid, and tank. These are our basic menu items - tacos and burritos. They come in a variety of "flavors," but they do usually have one common water-saving feature. On these models, the pipe that refills the tank doesn't connect to the lower part of the tank, but rather releases water from above, into a little hole, that then flows inside the tank. The point of this is to allow you to rinse your hands with the water that's going to be dirtied anyway. I usually wash my hands afterwards at the sink with soap, anyway, but it's still a thoughtful feature. These models can be found in a variety of places. I have one in my apartment.

Last, we have the top tier; the Mexican Pizzas and Nachos Bell Grande. These bad boys come decked out with all sorts of dials and buttons. Common features include heated seats, sounds to drown out any noise you might make, and nozzles that will squirt you in all the right places. Sometimes you can find thrones with adjustable water pressure and temperature, too. These are usually found in places like hotels and celebrities' houses.

And there you have it. Not all toilets are created equal. It really is interesting, though. Thanks to the inexplicable fact that squatter toilets are still being made (dug?), it's quite easy to observe the evolution of toilet technology in Japan. What's next, you wonder? Crapping into waste cans, perhaps.

Do you have any stories about your own experiences with the thrones or run-ins with the squatters? If so, please share them in the comments section!

Pooping there is half the fun

The owner and mastermind behind this blog, Mr. Blue Shoe, has touched upon the wonders of Japanese bathrooms before, but there are a few details he skipped (or perhaps feverishly pushed to the back of his subconscious, hoping they would never surface again).

My formal introduction to the Japanese toilet occurred in Tokyo. I had a small bit of time before my connecting flight to Osaka, so I decided to pop into the public restroom. The signs outside the bathrooms were in Japanese, but it was obvious that one sign was for the men's room (t'was blue, and showed a stick figure wearing pants), and the other sign was for the ladies room (pink sign, stick figure in a skirt). Didn't take a genius to figure this one out. So, I went to the men's side...and was greeted by a woman cleaning the sinks.

Whoops.

I backed out, and looked at the signs again. No, I...I couldn't have made a mistake. The sign is blue, and the stick figure is wearing pants. I stood there, contemplating the situation. Could it be that, in Japan, blue = feminine? Do Japanese stick figure men wear some kind of skirt I'm not familiar with? Where did I go wrong here? Regardless, I did the logical thing.

I loitered outside the bathroom until a Japanese guy went in, and I followed him.

Turns out I was right, and here was my first experience with culture shock in Japan. In America, a woman cleaning the men's room while it's open is a no-no, and vice versa. Imagine the lawsuits!

Oh, but it gets even more shocking for this foreign visitor. The Japanese man who I had followed, he proceeded to use one of the urinals...while the cleaning woman scrubbed the urinal right next to him. Who does that?? Did I accidentally walk onto the set of a poorly-written Japanese porno movie? I opted to use one of the three stalls. In my haste, I didn't notice the signs on the door to each stall (displaying, in Japanese, whether the toilet was a "Japanese-style" or "Western-style" toilet), and when I closed the door and looked around, there was....nothing. Well, not quite "nothing." There was a hole. In the ground. Made of porcelain.

Behold the wonders of the Japanese toilet:

And, for those gaijin (foreigners) not smart enough to figure out how a hole in the floor works, Tokyo airport has provided us with this easy-to-understand picture:

What did I tell you? Pooping there is half the fun.

The cleaning-woman-in-the-men's-bathroom incident should've prepared me for the discovery I made halfway into my stay in Japan. In Japan...the men's bathroom is not sacred. Now, the female bathrooms, in order to access them, you have to make your way through a labyrinth, battle a samurai, and answer three questions on the history of feudal Japan. But the men's rooms of Japan -- half of them didn't seem to have doors, let alone a urinal hidden from the general public. Seriously -- in many of the parks, temple grounds, and tourist areas, the men's rooms were very open; often, I'd be walking by, not even in the restroom itself, and be able to see men standing at the urinals. It all seemed a little too accessible. Perhaps it's just my American mentality as to what's taboo, but back home, I like being able to pee without throngs of people watching.

A few people, okay. But not throngs. A guy has his limits.

Thankfully, Mr. Blue Shoe has a "Western" toilet in his apartment, where I would be staying for the duration of my trip, and most public places offer stalls for both types of toilets, so I never had to experience first-hand (first-cheek?) the wonders of the Japanese toilet. My knees are bad enough as they are.

And I'd rather not know about the splash factor. The Japanese are a brave people, indeed.

Fun with words!

The last two days I helped out at another high school school (since classes are already over at mine). Throughout each day I cycled through about six small groups of students, leading discussions and playing a few games. Their English was better than that of the kids at my base school, but still - talking and playing games with people who are learning English (especially teenagers) can provide a, um...unique source of fulfillment.

One of the games I played with a group of five girls and one boy was "Two Truths and a Lie." You're probably familiar with it, but if not, it's a game in which each person has to tell the group three things about him or herself, two of which are true and one of which, following the name of the game, is a lie. The girls did well, using stock phrases like "I like _____" and "I have _____."

The boy's three were a little different:

1. I have gone to the toilet two times today.

2. I have to go to the toilet right now.

3. I have two toilets in my home.

There you go - toilet humor is big amongst teenagers all over the world. In case you were wondering, the lie was #2.