Punked

Relatively early on during my time in Japan, I bought a used bicycle. It wound up faithfully serving me for my three years, but naturally I had to refill the air in the tires on occasion. One time, though, that didn't seem to do the trick.

I asked a friend of mine to accompany me to the little repair shop around the corner; I had visited on my own, suspecting that I had a leak (as the air seemed to be draining out in a manner of days), but I wasn't sure how to communicate the fact. The guy seemed to tell me in what I could only describe as a heavy, gibberish accent, that the tire was okay and just needed air.

Long-story-short, I did indeed have a flat and required a patch on the tire's inner tube. But more importantly, I learned a new word that day from my friend: パンク（した）- to get a flat tire.

Ah, yes - "punk" as in "punctured." 

Guest Post: Grasping at Self Worth

The following is a guest post by Canadian author and comedian Bryan Maine. Bryan asked me if he could write a piece about his upcoming Kickstarter book, in which he taps into some intense experiences he had in Japan some years ago. Hats off to a writer and entrepreneur doing his best to make it happen. Good luck to you, Bryan!

-Paul


Six years ago I was a Canadian university student in Tokyo for the summer with my then girlfriend and needed work.  My friend's father set up a job at a neighbourhood preschool for me within days.  I was weary, expecting to be the warden I rebelled against so strongly only years prior when I was an exchange student in a Japanese high school.  Preschool was completely different.  The children were bubbly and full of life.  I noticed if a child was crying or hurt that the teachers had no fear when  lifting the kid up and kissing the scratch on their arm to make it better.  It wasn't "inappropriate" the way it seems our western culture has made it out to be, it was providing general love and compassion to a child.  

The oddest experience was a particularly hot day that I was asked to assist with a large steal drum sitting a top cinder blocks in the centre of the play yard.  A hose was draped over the side pumping water as another teacher fanned a tiny fire beneath the barrel.  I asked what the set up was for and they explained that since it had been an extra hot week we were making a pool for the kids to take a dunk in.  On that note another teacher ushered out a parade of 30 small naked humans waiting for their turn, giggling.  I was shocked.  The entire 5 year old class was standing naked in the school yard and right at that moment an old woman road her bicycle past the gate and waved with a smile, completely unaffected by the sight.  With each dunk, the child would give a brief shiver before smiling back at their classmates to the cheers of excitement.  After the moment in the spotlight we hoisted the kid out and wrapped a towel around them on their way inside.  "Why are the kids all naked" I asked, lowering a fresh body into the makeshift hot tub.  "Because they don't have their swimsuits today" the other teacher responded matter of factly.  It wasn't odd that tiny kids were naked in sight of the public, it was odd to wonder why.  

As my time in Tokyo past the girl I was there to be with became more and more distant and as such I became very depressed.  She resented me for all the negativity of her family towards her for dating someone not Japanese.  Each day I arrived at the school in the morning to the joyful smiles of the kids with a level of excitement that expressed hours of anticipation.  One child in particular would run up and tug at my wrist, when I looked down he would laugh with pride that he had gotten my attention.  With a light peck on the back of my hand he turned his face up to grin at me before letting go and returning to the other children.  It was the type of appreciation and excitement I once had in my relationship.  The children of the school were the only thing that kept me sane.  They didn't judge me for being a foreigner but were constantly curious and happy.  Their joy was a reminder to me to try and hold onto mine.

The experiences listed above are all part of my new book Grasping at Self Worth.  The book is available by searching the title at www.kickstarter.com or by clicking the link above. It expresses my experience of travelling to Tokyo with the girl I loved only to have her mother and older sister torture her because I wasn't Japanese and the sacrifice of my own sense of worth in an attempt to please them.

Thank you for your support!

A Great Place to Live #2

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You can check out Paul's A Great Place to Live #1 here.

Paul pointed out to me that I have written two posts on why Japan is a great place to visit but none on what makes it a great place to live. This is strange since I’ve lived in Japan a lot longer than I’ve been a visitor. I think I lost my visitor status the first time I chose a Japanese squat toilet over a western toilet. I wasn’t trying to get in touch with my Japanese roots or anything, since I don’t have any, but was trying to avoid a cold toilet seat in the middle of winter. Either way, that was the day I became a man. Not really, but whatever.

Today is the day I come of age.

I’ve lived in Japan for over four years. I didn’t always live here for over four years, in fact, there was a time about four years ago that I was new. The plan was to stay in Japan for a year, travel a bit, become perfectly fluent in the language (how naive I was), and get back to America in time for supper. Of course, as all great stories go, our protagonist met a girl, who might have been his antagonist, but she was cute, and continues to be. I got married and now I’m still here. In that way Japan can be a trap, but it’s a happy trap. Like a mosquito getting trapped in sweet, sweet amber and then being used to clone dinosaurs.

"This bug is smiling at me"

Instead of sharing what is great about Japan as a whole I think I’ll use my experience of living in three prefectures as a way to show how, like any place, Japan is different depending on where you go. I’ll give away the ending and say as far as I can tell every place in Japan is A Great Place to Live.

I started my journey in Hyogo prefecture where I lived and worked for three years. Hyogo is in the Kansai region, which is an amazing place to live. I was thirty minutes to both Osaka and Kobe and fifty to Kyoto by train. Of course when any band does a Japanese tour, or whenever there is some neat event, nine times out of ten they will go to Tokyo. Well, eight times out of ten they will then go to Osaka or Kobe. So in a way, you get the convenience of living in a cultural hub city and also the variety that comes with living in a trifecta of metropoli. I'm aware that ‘metropoli’ isn't a word but it sounds much better than ‘metropolises’. Each city is also completely distinct from the others, from their histories to their people to their style of dress. A famous Japanese dialect is the “Kansai dialect” but that’s a bit of a misnomer since it varies between cities and sometimes within the cities themselves. Living in Kansai I loved the fact that in one day I could take a boat tour around Kobe harbor, go to a festival at a shrine in Kyoto, and party the night away in Osaka. I’ve never actually done that in one day, but I could have.

 I finally feel spiritually grounded. Now, to Hooters!

I loved it there but my wife’s company transferred her so I quit my job and moved south to Miyazaki Prefecture. Miyazaki’s current claim to fame is their fruit and meats, though recently they’ve had problems with foot and mouth disease. Thirty or so years ago Miyazaki was better known as a popular vacation and honeymoon spot, but when the yen became strong people started going overseas. A formerly famous place in Miyazaki was Sea Gaia. It was a huge indoor beach that would have been immensely popular had they built it near Tokyo or Dubai, but instead they built it next to the beach. Their target market was the people who want to go to the beach but hate being outside. You may have even seen pictures of this place since it made the rounds on the Internet a couple years back. Miyazaki was a great place to live, especially after all the busyness of being a near a big city. Everyone was laid back as they tend to be in warm places.

Amazing, those people look so lifelike.

I’m now on the newest leg of my journey. Last month my wife was transferred yet again, this time to Tokyo. I quit my job yet again, and followed her. At this moment I’m living it up in the world’s biggest metropolis. I’ve only been here for a week so I can’t pretend Tokyo and me are intimately familiar, but so far I like what I see. Everything I couldn’t get in Miyazaki I can get here, usually just by walking down the street. It’s a bit much sometimes. It was easy to choose a restaurant or bar in Miyazaki since the pickings were slim. Here you have the choice between that cool Thai restaurant, or that other cool Thai restaurant, or the five Indian restaurants, ten Italian and French places, or the fifteen Chinese restaurants, or the hundred Japanese Izakayas, or even an amazing Portuguese place that has quickly become my favorite. There was an event last night where you pay ￥3,000, go to four participating local restaurants or bars of your choosing, and get a drink and appetizer. All the places I went to were great and I feel like I’m just scratching the surface.

So yeah, Japan is A Great Place to Live. If it weren’t, I wouldn’t still be here. Of course I could go on and on about the friendly people, the world’s best customer service, clean streets, excellent public transportation, delicious and healthy food, etc., etc., but I'll have to save those for another post. That's the carrot on the stick. Hope to see you next time!

Just Another Week in Japan: Party Time

So ends the third week of May, 2011. Today I'm hosting a house party, so let's cut to the chase!

Here are my highlights for this week:

Life in Japan

There was an article at the Japan Times Online this week about how comparing culinary preferences isn't the best way to draw cultural lines . But try explaining that next time you're asked if you like sushi or natto!

On a very similar note, Jay Dee in Japan wrote about answering some of the common (mis)conceptions that he still encounters after six years in Japan. It's true - in the West many people do know how to use chopsticks!

There was an article and some lively comments at Super Happy Awesome Fun Time about holograms. More specifically about how musical holograms are being used at concerts in recent years.

I wrote a piece this week about the special attachment that Japanese society seems to have to high school culture. Some great comments, too!

Japanese Study

Moji Maki featured a post about a nice resource for using Japanese music as a study tool.

For this month's Japan Blog Matsuri, Joe wrote a great post on his experience studying kanji using Heisig's Remembering the Kanji.

If you've ever had trouble remembering the proper Japanese spelling of "Konnichiwa," look no further than this post, and remember forever. FOR-EV-ER.

Blogging

Another piece by Coppyblogger - some tips on how to write high-quality content fast.

No, this picture doesn't really have anything to do with anything.

Just Another Week in Japan: Real Japanese schoolgirls and reviewing your life

Happy Golden Week to those in Japan (though for most of you it's fragmented this year)!

And so ends the last week of April, 2011 (4月第4週間目2011年). If you're planning on sitting for this year's JLPT, I hope you submitted your application by Thursday. If not, well...guess you're not taking it until December. Anyhow, here are this week's highlights:

Life in Japan

• First off, a couple entries by a blog I just found this week, Adventures of the Directionally Challenged. Jana writes about her life as it relates to her travels around the world, including to Japan. And so here are her posts, "Why Labeling Sucks" and "(Real) Japanese Schoolgirls."

• Here's the story of an English teacher who was arrested for grabbing the mic from one of those annoying politicians campaigning on the street corner and telling him to shut up; over at Japan Subculture Research Center. Dumb move...but well done.

• And I wrote a short post on the local cats. Some good discussion in the comments about neighborhood cats and gaijin traps.

Japanese Study

• Daniel over at How to Japonese introduced the phrase (or word, I suppose)「やられた！」.

• Rene at Shinjiki Shindoi presented another round of onomatopoeia.

• And here's my contribution, about, uh...mouth bacteria and toothpaste and AJATT, and stuff...

Engrish

• An interesting puzzle over at Tokyo Tako. Guess the source of the Engrish, win a prize.

• And over at Supper Happy Awesome Fun Time, who doesn't enjoy delicious happy time?

• I had an epiphany thanks to a trash bin.

Blogging

• An interesting post at Source Blogger about whether or not it will benefit your blog to expand your topics. Not a new post, but new to me!

Please share any other cool thinks you found this week! Or if you're a blogger, what was your best post of the week?

Advice for my successor #3

No, I didn't intent to keep writing these, but they just come to me like an epiphany:

• There's a whole bunch of bulky stuff in the closets that I've never used before, and most likely neither will you. But since it's such a pain to dispose of, it's become a game of hot potato, and the loser will be the ALT who's living here when the school decides to find a new place for its ALTs to live (or stops hiring or housing ALTs).

• If you're like me and have a hard time remembering students names, if any students ask you if you remember their names, jokingly say something like "Oh yeah, it's Mary, isn't it?" They'll laugh.

• The "Oh yeah, it's Mary, isn't it?" trick only works so many times. And if there's a big group and you start giving them all Western names, they will catch on that you're not joking and really don't know if their name is Yuka, Yuki, Yukino, Yukinu, or Yukina.

• None of the teachers take the time to banter much with the lunch ladies, but they're really pretty nice (that one doesn't only apply to Japan).

• There are three main types of noodles in Japan: ramen, udon, and soba. Of course there are others, but these are the big three. You must decide for yourself how you will rank them in terms of goodness.

• Soba sucks.

Correction: You must rank udon and ramen for yourself. Soba has officially been pegged last.

Advice for my successor #2

I thought of some more pearls I'd like to share. I don't know who you are yet, and neither do you, but listen up:

• Don't be one of those ALTs who complains that you have too much free time. During breaks you can read a book, study, do some blogging (wink), chat with teachers and/or students, wander around the school, watch a club activity, or if you're at the visit school you can grab a nap on one of the couches. You'll be missing that time when you have four classes in a day, plus ESS after school, plus a meeting with a teacher during your only free period (Can you guess why I'm thinking about this right now? =P).

• There are some pretty cool JETs, but don't get caught in a clique. You're in Japan, so hang out with some Japanese, too!

• The brakes on the bicycle I'm leaving you suck, but don't bother buying a new one. The brakes on all the bikes suck.

• If you go to the Indian place in town or the one near the station often enough, they will give you free stuff on occasion. No matter how often you go to the ramen shop down the street, they'll never give you anything on the house.

• Clean the apartment as often as you feel necessary, but don't kill yourself dusting and vacuuming. Literally like 20 seconds after you clean an area you will spot some more dust there. It's an uphill battle.

Advice for my successor

Of course I'll impart similar nuggets in a letter or email when I find out who he or she will be, but I'm starting to think about the next person to serve at this post, and what they'll need to know. Here are a few things I've come up with:

• If you have to go number two, don't be afraid to use the handicapped bathroom. All the teachers do it.
• Both schools you'll work at have libraries. If you're already literate or want to study Japanese, there are some good resources there to be used.
• Don't try to keep track of which teachers give you candy/chocolate/snacks. Just be nice and share little (edible) souvenirs or ethnic foods from time to time. 
• Mr. S (the English teacher) will always act like he understands what you say to him, so never take it for granted.
• I don't know if one of your goals is saving money, but however much you save during your time here, know that you could have saved more if you hadn't gone out or drank so much.
• I don't know who these ALTs are that actively join clubs at their school, but good on you if you do. My first year here the judo teacher kept trying to get my to join, but I couldn't imagine throwing or rolling around on the mat with my students.
• I don't have it quite as good as my predecessor, but you will have it better than me.
• That food isn't what you think it is.

There are still days

Sometimes people ask me if I've gotten used to living in Japan or if there are still things that bother me. The answer to both questions is "yes." Life has gotten a lot smoother for me, but there are still things that really frustrate me.

Yesterday I was cleaning my apartment, trying to clear out some junk that has been taking up space, and I filled a couple of non-burnable bags. In Japan, we sort our trash into burnable and non-burnable garbage, which are collected on different days. I can deal with that. But sometimes there will randomly be a day when the trash isn't collected. Today was such a day. So now I have four bags of non-burnables crowding my entranceway, and the next non-burnable collection won't be until next week!

There was probably a notice or something, but if so I didn't notice it anywhere. And of course the city website isn't updated with such information. So yes, there are still things that frustrate me.

時々「日本に慣れた?」とか「困ったことまだあるの?」と聞かれている。どちらにおいても、答えは「はい」です。生活はドンドンやさしくになったけど困ることあるよ。

昨日は、アパートを掃除してて、二つのゴミ袋いっぱい燃えないごみを詰めた。日本では、燃えるごみと燃えないごみを分けて、別の日に収集されてる。それは大丈夫だよ。でもさ、たまにどういうわけが収集・・・しない。今日はそいう日だったんだ。だから玄関に四つのゴミ袋あって、次の燃えないごみの日は来週やろう。

どこかにお知らせあったかもしらないけどあったら僕は気が付かなかった。で伊丹市のウェブサイトはそんな案内がないね。うん、困ったことまだあるんだ。