Guest Post: Grasping at Self Worth

The following is a guest post by Canadian author and comedian Bryan Maine. Bryan asked me if he could write a piece about his upcoming Kickstarter book, in which he taps into some intense experiences he had in Japan some years ago. Hats off to a writer and entrepreneur doing his best to make it happen. Good luck to you, Bryan!

-Paul


Six years ago I was a Canadian university student in Tokyo for the summer with my then girlfriend and needed work.  My friend's father set up a job at a neighbourhood preschool for me within days.  I was weary, expecting to be the warden I rebelled against so strongly only years prior when I was an exchange student in a Japanese high school.  Preschool was completely different.  The children were bubbly and full of life.  I noticed if a child was crying or hurt that the teachers had no fear when  lifting the kid up and kissing the scratch on their arm to make it better.  It wasn't "inappropriate" the way it seems our western culture has made it out to be, it was providing general love and compassion to a child.  

The oddest experience was a particularly hot day that I was asked to assist with a large steal drum sitting a top cinder blocks in the centre of the play yard.  A hose was draped over the side pumping water as another teacher fanned a tiny fire beneath the barrel.  I asked what the set up was for and they explained that since it had been an extra hot week we were making a pool for the kids to take a dunk in.  On that note another teacher ushered out a parade of 30 small naked humans waiting for their turn, giggling.  I was shocked.  The entire 5 year old class was standing naked in the school yard and right at that moment an old woman road her bicycle past the gate and waved with a smile, completely unaffected by the sight.  With each dunk, the child would give a brief shiver before smiling back at their classmates to the cheers of excitement.  After the moment in the spotlight we hoisted the kid out and wrapped a towel around them on their way inside.  "Why are the kids all naked" I asked, lowering a fresh body into the makeshift hot tub.  "Because they don't have their swimsuits today" the other teacher responded matter of factly.  It wasn't odd that tiny kids were naked in sight of the public, it was odd to wonder why.  

As my time in Tokyo past the girl I was there to be with became more and more distant and as such I became very depressed.  She resented me for all the negativity of her family towards her for dating someone not Japanese.  Each day I arrived at the school in the morning to the joyful smiles of the kids with a level of excitement that expressed hours of anticipation.  One child in particular would run up and tug at my wrist, when I looked down he would laugh with pride that he had gotten my attention.  With a light peck on the back of my hand he turned his face up to grin at me before letting go and returning to the other children.  It was the type of appreciation and excitement I once had in my relationship.  The children of the school were the only thing that kept me sane.  They didn't judge me for being a foreigner but were constantly curious and happy.  Their joy was a reminder to me to try and hold onto mine.

The experiences listed above are all part of my new book Grasping at Self Worth.  The book is available by searching the title at www.kickstarter.com or by clicking the link above. It expresses my experience of travelling to Tokyo with the girl I loved only to have her mother and older sister torture her because I wasn't Japanese and the sacrifice of my own sense of worth in an attempt to please them.

Thank you for your support!

Being a Better Blogger Pt. 2

There are a lot of articles out there about how to be a better blogger, and they'll give you some useful tips like "write some posts ahead of time and save them" and some not-so-helpful tips like "write good posts." But in this article I'm going to tell you what I think makes for being a successful blogger.

As promised, I need to qualify that. By successful, I don't just mean "has a big readership" or "makes money off of ads." Successful means different things to different people. But for our purposes here, I'm defining "successful" as well-trafficked and well-respected in the (blogging) community.

1. Give and take

Read other blogs and websites, and reference or link them when you can. Not only does this give you more credibility as someone who is well-read and involved in what you're talking about, but it gives you the chance to possibly build a relationship with fellow bloggers. Not only is it ok, but sometimes it's a great idea to link to an interesting post on another blog and give your readers some of your thoughts on it. Your readers will be grateful to find another good website and your colleague may be glad, as well. I know I always am!

Just as we all love to see our own names in writing and hear our names spoken (don't try to deny it), bloggers love to see their posts mentioned. Most likely they will remember that you tried to give them a boost.

2. Participate!


Bolded and with an exclamation point. Not only should you be participating (commenting) at other websites, but you should especially be involved in the dialogue going on at your own blog. If you have comments enabled, you should be replying to comments, end of story. It feels good to receive a comment, but it also feels good to receive a reply. If you're not going to engage your readers, how can you expect them to engage you?

Personally if I comment at another blog two or three times in a row without receiving a reply, I quit commenting (and sometimes reading).

3. Post often


This one is probably pretty self explanatory. I think most bloggers who stop posting for weeks or months do so because they have either given up or don't have time to write. But just realize that if you stop posting for weeks or months, you will lose readers, and you will have to work to get them back. Last year when I went home to America in November my posting rate fell off significantly. As you'd expect, I lost readers.

4. Build and maintain your site


I've become convinced that in some ways blogging is like high school. For one thing, looks matter. Sure, there are some good blogs that look kind of plain, but they have the personality to make up for it. Conversely I've seen a lot of nice-looking blogs with content that is plain uninteresting. Some of those same blogs don't even update very often. And yet they get a lot of views. The good-looking blogs can get away with a lot. Now if only I had the cash for a professional makeover...

Along the same vein, I've seen way too many websites with unattended sidebars and blogrolls. I do check out the blogroll links of websites I like. It's disappointing and lowers my opinion of said websites just a tad when only half the blogs are still up and running. Sometimes I'll click on a link only to find it broken or to be taken to a blog that hasn't been updated in two years. Personally, with few exceptions I'll delete a blog from my list if it hasn't been updated in more than a couple months. They can get back on, but they have to be active!

Your links and sidebars are part of your blog. If you have pride in your website, you should maintain it.

5. Focus on quality


When your post is an article, make sure it's neat and well-presented. Spread out your content and make it easy to read. Try to avoid huge blocks of text, and be careful about rushing your writing. Avoid grammatical and spelling mistakes (I'm guilty of often pushing the "publish" button too quickly, myself)!

6. Be visual

See? Don't you feel relieved by this picture?

Along with #5, it always helps to have at least one picture to break up the monotony. It can be kind of a put-off to see nothing but a sea of words! Use pictures you've taken yourself or something online. Just be sure not to steal someone else's property. Wikimedia Commons is a nice resource for pictures of all sorts of things.


7. Develop "your thing"

Every good blog needs a distinguishing characteristic. This could be exceptional quality, a unique voice, a theme of some kind, or just a special atmosphere that you create. Your blog's personality, if you will. To take a couple of examples:

Chris, at his blog, Confessions of a Badboy in Japan uses an almost in-your-face blend of unapologetically telling things how he sees them, and exploring some of the more mature themes about experience in Japan that most blogs avoid.

For a different flavor, there's Kirk's Jamaipanese - a blog that explores both life in Jamaica and a burning interest in Japanese culture.

Both of these blogs have found "their thing." They have distinct personalities, and I gather that's one reason why their readers like them.

8. Pay it forward


I don't believe in karma, but I do believe that ultimately what goes around comes around. I've talked a lot about plugging fellow bloggers and being a part of the community. Let me stress that I don't mean you should ingratiate yourself to others so that they will help you get more readers.  But what I'm saying does include cooperation and empathy.

I've been on both sides of the fence. Not too long ago I emailed both Kirk and Loco, asking for some blogging advice. I received thoughtful replies from both, and Loco tried to plug me, as well. I've also gotten much-appreciated support and feedback from Orchid.

We've also been referenced by other websites on occasion. Let me tell you, I never forget when someone has plugged or promoted JADJ, and I look for chances to get them back in the future. People remember this kind of thing, so don't be stingy!

For those of us who have been around a little while, it can be hard to remember exactly what it was like starting up. I can imagine it must be even harder for the "A-Listers." But just imagine, when you were just a fledgling startup, how much would it have meant to you to get a link from one of the "big guys," and maybe gain a few extra views. A lot.

I'm not saying you should be linking willy-nilly or to websites with little or not good content. But just try to be aware that you could make a big difference for someone with great ability or ideas who just can't attract many readers on his or her own.

9. Use the tools available to you


I resisted for as long as I could, but after a while I realized that by not using resources like Twitter and Facebook, I was depriving myself of valuable ways not only to get JADJ out there, but to consume more media about Japan and discover other worthwhile websites and blogs about Japan. Twitter is a great tool for finding information and learning about any topic, provided you're following the right people.

As for how to effectively promote, I'll have to get back to you on that. I still haven't discovered the secret of how to get people to retweet my posts. But I've seen other bloggers' posts retweeted to hell - that means those links are circulated to hundreds of readers.

While this is by no means a comprehensive article on "how to be a successful blogger," I hope you'll consider my advice. There is no secret or straight and clear path to becoming successful, but there are certainly things you can do to help yourself and others on the way.

What do you think is most important? Is there anything you would add?

Being a Better Blogger Pt. 1

Blogging was a lot more difficult back then.

Blogging can be hard work. Blogging can be frustrating. And growth can be slow. But you know what? I love it.

Before the advent of the internet, there weren't a lot of practical ways to make yourself heard on a large scale unless you it was your job (i.e. you were a journalist, politician, etc). Nowadays, with tools like Twitter, Facebook, and all manner of blogging services, all you really need is a computer, internet access, time and patience.

But that said, those are just the minimum. If you want to grow and get your stuff out there, you need to consider some other things, too.

In this post, I want to talk a little bit about why I'm writing this and about my experience with this blog. In part 2, I'm going to offer my advice for building up your blog. Careful, though - it will be qualified advice. But more about that later.

So first off, what prompted this reflection? Well, honestly I've been kind of angry lately. Not so much "punch someone in the face" angry as "what am I doing wrong?!" angry. Why? Because as I mentioned, growing a blog takes time.

Now I don't want to tear anyone down, especially those who have worked hard to be successful, but sometimes the appeal of the bigger and more popular blogs in my niche eludes me. But that is a good realization to have - I don't always know what kind of content people enjoy. Something for me to work on.

Then there are the big "A-List" blogs - those guys who have made it to the top of Google search and make part of their living off of ad revenue. Yet so many of them link or reference fellow bloggers about as often as Scrooge allowed Cratchit to throw another piece of coal into the furnace. Don't go looking for crumbs there! 

Perhaps equally frustrating, however, is finding new yet popular blogs, which have only been started in recent months (or less than a year ago) that have more readers or subscribers than I do. It's not that I begrudge their success - it's that I begrudge the speed of their success. 

So I did the mature thing. I complained about it to my friends. And I lamented the unfairness of life. Why, God?! Why don't you send more readers to my blog?

Then I decided to shrug it off and turn that energy towards more productive outlets. 

Earlier I was reading some articles over at Coppyblogger and came across one that struck a chord. It's called "Why No One Links to Your Best Posts (And What to Do About It)". I tweeted the link and got a couple thoughts from Anna and Ashley, and afterwards decided to write this. 

For those of you who are new to the world of blogging and/or don't have the inclination to read the article, it basically says that the fundamental cannon of blogging, "Content is king," is flawed. Yes, you need to post interesting content if you want to attract and keep an audience. But that's not all there is to it. You can have some amazing stuff, but if no one's aware of your site, it may as well be trash. You need to attract readers from somewhere.

According to Cb, the trick is networking. That's something I've been working at for months (at least), but not because I wanted more traffic. Well, at least not mainly for that reason, though I'd be lying if I didn't say that's not added motivation. The real reason is because there is a community of bloggers, no matter what you're writing about. I guarantee you that there is some group of dedicated people writing about whatever niche you're blogging about. 

Whether or not you realize it, you're a part of that community. Sure, there may be some minor competition here or there to attract readers or cover a certain story, but these people are your colleagues and could be your friends. They often have similar experiences and interests and would be happy to talk to you. Often the insights and ideas that you share can benefit both of you.

Most bloggers are number people, even if they won't admit it. It's especially the case when you're starting up, but not significantly less so later on - the numbers can lift you up or break your spirit. Gaining subscribers, seeing your views go up over time, getting comments - these are gold to bloggers. I know those things still make me feel really good, so it's my policy to try to pay it forward where I can.

In my case, it's been almost two years now since I started up this blog. We have almost 50 subscribers and, though there are good days and bad, receive about 100 unique views a day. Although it's hard to measure, I'd say we're in the lower middle section of the totem pole that is the Japan blog-o-sphere. Growth is slow, but definitely observable. And I'm doing my best to refine our content and provide interesting reading/viewing material.

It may not look like it, but I've spent a lot of time on this site. Hours and hours and hours. Not only writing, but playing around with formatting and themes, researching and trying to implement widgets to make the blog more attractive and accessible, and doing my best not to only be a good member of the J-blogging community, but to make this blog somewhat respectable within that community. As you can probably tell, on all counts I've met with mixed success. But I'm still trying, and I'm not going to stop any time soon. 

So while I'm by no means a leading authority on blogging success, there are definitely some important lessons I've learned in these two years that might be of interest to some of my fellow bloggers. 

If you'd like to know what I think makes for a successful blog, come on back for part 2!