The Mascot Abomination: Melon Bear

If you're a fan of Japanese pop culture or you've been over there, no doubt you're familiar with the mascots. Regions, companies, airports - there are mascots for this, that, and every other.

Usually these characters are created to appeal to the Japanese love of 'cuteness.' They're silly and/or adorable. かわいい, they say.

Take Kumamon - the official mascot character of Kumamoto prefecture. He's been traveling a lot recently both domestically and overseas to promote his hometown. And boy he is popular. Look at his cute, red cheeks.

Source

You know, there's another famous bear mascot character in Japan. Behold:

Source

"Aww, it's so cute!" you say, in your mind if not aloud. I know your thoughts. And yes, it is a cute little toy. This is Melon Bear, the mascot for Yubari city in Hokkaido, renowned for its delicious melons. Now brace yourself and behold once again:

Direct your blame here.

This is the real Melon Bear biting the sh*t out of Kumamon. Sweet Lord. It's like they figured there was too much competition in the "cute mascot" arena, so they just said screw it and went for "disturbing nightmare-inducing aberration" instead.

I guess the Hokkaido guys get a kick out of it, and to be honest their blatant disregard for what their countrymen find to be appealing or sane marketing might convince me to buy one of their melons if I were still living over there.

Here's a video of him in action.

And don't worry about old Kumamon. It turns out there was a reckoning of sorts. I guess that photo up above must have been a Melon Bear sneak attack. Here's how it turned out:

Gotta love Japan.

Just another picture of the day 3/24/10

Uma! (うまっ！)

So if you're familiar with real Japanese cuisine, you probably know yaki-niku (焼肉). They bring out a bunch of raw meat and you grill it at the table and eat it. Yeah, that's not what this is.

日本料理よく知ったら、確かに焼肉知ってるやろう。生肉をもらってテーブルで自分で焼いて食うんだね。これは焼肉・・・じゃないんだ。

This, my friends, is basashi (馬刺し), a specialty of Kumamoto-ken, one of Japan's southernmost provinces. I was in Kyushu this weekend visiting someone and we swung down to Kumamoto to sample this delicacy. Oh, in case you're wondering, basashi is horse. And it is eaten raw.

これは熊本県の「ばさし」って名物料理だ。最近の（三練習）*三連休は、九州に住んでいる友達を訪ねてて、一緒に熊本に行った。知りたかったら、「ばさし」っては馬だ。で、生で食べられてる。

So yeah, that's not my tongue. 僕の舌じゃないよ。I was so hungry that I actually ate a horse (アメリカンジョーク). ばさしはうまっ（日本のジョーク - ありがとう、ディラン）！

I'm sure for a lot of people this kind of food is quite intimidating. Since I like my burgers rare or medium rare, though, this wasn't too scary for me. Even so, it was a little daunting at first. We had some of what I assume was flank meat and also some liver. It was actually pretty tasteless. You're supposed to eat it with sweet or salty sauce, mixed with ginger and scallions, or with oil and salt. Maybe I'll eat it again sometime. And with that, I've officially eaten all the special Japanese foods that I have sought to: whale, blowfish, and horse, along with a slew of special Japanese foods that I haven't sought: shirako, shrimp heads and tails, kelp...

What's next? Well, it isn't unique to Japan, but I hear you can get deer meat somewhere. And you know I have a score to settle with those bastards.

食べてよかったよ。多分たくさんのアメリカ人は、こんな食べ物が結構怖いやな。でもハンバーガーなら、僕はレアかミディアムレアで好きだから怖くはなかった。それでも、最初はちょっとてごわかった。脇腹肉か何かとレバーを食べた。実は無味だったんだ。だから甘口か辛口のソースと生姜とネギで、油と塩で食べるべきだ。まあ、また食べるかもしらへんよ。それで、特別な食べたい日本料理を食べてきたよ: 鯨や河豚や馬刺し。後別に食べたくなかった食べ物も: 白子や海老の頭としっぽや昆布。

次はどう？日本に特有じゃないけど多分どこか鹿肉を食べられる。あいつに貸しがあるなぁ。

*Thanks for the correction, Yoshie!