In English, when you want to refer to yourself, you don't have my choices. It's usually "I" or "me," depending on the word's grammatical function and whether or not you are an intellectually-challenged cartoon character (If me is a dumb enough character, me cannot use "I." Me also inclined to SMASH!). Not so in Japanese, which is just a thread in the tapestry that is a picture of why Japanese is a difficult language for native English-speakers.
In Japanese, there are a number of options depending on one's gender and desired level of politeness: わたくし、わたし、あたし、僕 (ぼく）、俺（おれ）、わし、うち、and more. Figuring out when to use what isn't too difficult, but understanding the nuance of each word can take some time. I'm still working on it.
For a while now I've been a 僕 (ぼく) guy. 俺(おれ) has always struck me as a little too rough/"trying to be cool" and isn't appropriate for more formal situations. 私 (わたし in this case) is a too stiff for a guy to use in casual situations. 僕 is a good medium, so I've become accustomed to using it.
Recently I was talking to my friend
Ben (who has lived in Japan and is currently dating a nice Japanese grad student in the States) and he suggested I try using 俺 with my girlfriend. So I did. The next time I texted her I used it, and her response was 「男らしくていいね」 - something like "Nice, it's pretty masculine." She liked it? Should I have been using it all along? The seeds of doubt were sown, so I decided to do some investigating.
The next time I spoke to her on the phone, I asked her about the difference between 僕 and 俺. I've learned that different people seem to have different takes on this. Her feelings are that おれ is perhaps more adolescent but can also be masculine, and is a (friendly?) familiar way of speaking with friends or girlfriend (or family, I suppose). ぼく can sound kind of childish, but is also a bit more polite, and perhaps...refined? I asked her which she thought I should use and she didn't really have a preference.
I also asked one of the English teachers I work with. She's in her mid-twenties, so her perspective should be comparable. She answered similarly. ぼく is usable when trying to be more polite, like when speaking with coworkers or (sometimes) superiors, though you should probably switch to the more formal わたし or わたくし if you're really trying to be polite. おれ is indeed more casual and more masculine, but Teacher also said it can sound a bit adolescent, like a teenage boy or something. She also said she doesn't care which one her boyfriend uses (I bet he uses おれ, though).
My friend
Dylan has also been using ぼく for quite a while. He used to use おれ, but had trouble remembering to switch in polite settings, so he made the permanent change. He asked a couple of our female friends, who said that ぼく is 絶対いい (absolutely the way to go). According to them, ぼく seems to carry an air of sensitivity and perhaps intelligence. Plus it doesn't seem to be used as often among guys, so it can set one apart. Indeed, my girlfriend did mention that many 先生(doctors/teachers?) she knows tend to use ぼく.
Joe's girlfriend also prefers him to use 僕. I guess the 僕's have it?
For now I think I'll stick with 僕, but what do you think? If you're a guy in Japan, what do you use? If you're a gal, what do you prefer? And please vote in the little poll in the right sidebar!
英語で名乗ることがぜんぜん難しくない。自分のことの言葉が二つしかないから。"I" と "me"だね。でも日本語はいろいろあるので、英語の母語話者としてちょっと分かりにくいんです。
僕は「僕」タイプだと思う。以前から「僕」って使っている。別に失礼ではないしフレンドゥリなんだね。
最近Benと名の友達と話してて、彼は「ﾎﾟｰﾙの彼女と話したら「俺」って使ってみたほうがいいね」って言った。だから、そうした。彼女の反応は「男らしくていいね」って言ったんだ。そうっか！でも僕は普段「僕」って使うね。「俺」の方がいいかな。って考えてた。
その後、いろんな人と話した。二十代の女性の英語先生とか友達とか。結果は、女性によって違うかな。僕の彼女は、どちでもいいって言った。英語の先生もそういう答え。他の日本女性は「僕って絶対いい」って言った。Joeの彼女も「僕」が好きだ。
違いやニュアンスはちょっと分かりにくいけど多分だいたいわかる。まあ、とりあえず「僕」続けようかね。難しい話題だから、コメントとか意見とかよかったら書いてください!
