For the Record: Is Japan Hi-Tech? (Part 2)

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Paul was a gentleman and allowed me to choose which side each of us would be supporting, which was great for me because I was then able to choose the correct side. Japan is indeed high tech. Would a low tech country have Gundam robots to protect book stores?

Reading is fundamental. Also compulsory.

No, they wouldn't.

I might as well try to counter some of what Paul said specifically though.

1. Plumbing
Clearly Paul got the short end of the quarter inch copper tubing when it came to plumbing in his old apartment, but that's just life. It's a roll of the dice and sometimes you end up with an electrocution prone jury-rigged laundry water pump for a shower. You're going to blame a nation for that?
Let me introduce you to my shower. Or at least, its control panel:

It can do a couple of neat things. Let's look at those four square buttons at the bottom. From left to right we have dry, cool air, warm air, and ventilation. Yes, I have a built in air conditioner and heater in my shower. And of course you can set a timer for each one of those, because why not? It also has a low power ventilator that runs 24 hours a day. I don't know what kind of wizard magic is in this thing, but I have never had to put so little effort into keeping my shower mildew free. I mentioned this to my wife once and she said "that's because I clean it" but I still think it's mostly wizard magic.
I haven't even told you about my bath! If for some reason you spend a really long time in there and the water gets cold, no problem! Just push the button and the water gets hot again. It doesn't add new hot water, mind you, it just makes the water hot again. But don't touch the little port where the heat comes out of because according to the instructions, and my Japanese isn't perfect so I could be misreading this but, you will catch fire underwater.

What else can I say about Japanese plumbing? Well, I would be remiss to not make good on Paul's foreshadowing that I would talk about their amazing future toilets. I'll make this brief, because everyone has already heard all about these things. "Oh those weird Japanese with their weird toilets that shoot water weirdly," people laugh as they grab their toilet paper. NO! You people are weird! Toilet paper is just paper and paper is dead trees. What are we, a people of hobos living in the woods? This isn't about Japan being high tech here, this is the rest of the world sitting on devices no more sophisticated than what a pre-Renaissance serf would sit on on his little serf farm in the year of our Lord 1352. Yeah, the plumbing has improved, but the device itself is still the humble seat it has always been. Cold in winter and incapable of giving massages.

Massage is the green button. I haven't pushed it yet. I am Willy Wonka and this is my Wonkavator.

Moving on.

2. Fax
If it ain't broke, don't fix it. There's a pun in there that I just barely dodged. Phew! Anyway yeah, still using the fax is a little weird. But it's not like they don't have email. They do! In fact, their mobile phones since forever ago have all used email instead of text messages. You can do some fancy stuff without being stuck with text messaging limitations. Like Emoji!

Yeah, I know American phones have emoji now, but they're from Japan! Every time I'm in the states, and go to text with my trusty American Verizon phone, I feel like I'm sending a telegram back in 19-dickety-3. "HI JIM. STOP. WANT 2 MEET UP? STOP. K, CU THEN. STOP." The last stop was sincere because I only have 160 characters to work with in this wasteland. Might as well fax.

3. Media Formats
I yield to Paul on this one. I rented DVDs at my local video rental shop today. Yes, video rental shops still exist here. And they're popular.

4. NFC Cards
I'm going to diverge from Paul now and talk about the easy to use NFC cards. NFC stands for Near Field Communication and it's used in Japanese mobile phones and train cards. It basically just allows you to transfer information by touching your phone or card to a receiver. I don't have a phone that can do that, but I do have a Pasmo card which is one of what feels like 100 different varieties of similar cards in Japan. They started simply as train passes. You put cash on the card at the station, and you can beep your way through the ticket gate so you don't have to actually buy a ticket. A great time saver of course, but how could it be better? If you can use the cards to buy anything! And now you can, for the most part. 

Pasmo: takes you anywhere you want to be

When I first arrived in Japan in 2008 the cards were pretty limited. I could use my Icoca card (another variety) only around Osaka. I couldn't use it in Tokyo, or down south in Hakata or wherever. You can now though! All the cards are on the same system now (or something, I don't know how it works) so you can use one card anywhere in Japan. Also, there are tons and tons of stores outside of train stations that you can use them in too. Convenience stores and vending machines are a given, but these cards can be used in supermarkets, and plenty of other crazy places. In fact you can even use them to buy games on your Wii U! Which I guess would be convenient if anyone owned a Wii U.

5. Internet Speed
Google has done an excellent job of bringing gigabit internet to the American masses. According to Google, their Google Fiber is "100 times faster" than their competitor's broadband internet solutions. As they roll it out in different cities in the US, people are getting a glimpse of the speed of the future. Or present day Japan. Well, half the speed of present day Japan. And Google Fiber is about $20 more expensive. Though, admittedly Japan doesn't have the fastest internet in the world. That honor belongs to Hong Kong, followed by South Korea, with Japan next in line. America is unluckily thirteenth. 
Japan is also pushing to have the world's fastest wifi blanketing the country before the 2020 Olympic games in Tokyo. The goal is download speeds of 100 gigabytes a second, which is fast enough to download the HD version of the Back to the Future trilogy, or the HD version of the Godfather trilogy, or the HD version of the Lord of the Rings trilogy (minus one or two of the endings) in one second. That's faster than using a Bluray as a Frisbee!

Japan is clearly a high tech country, though admittedly sometimes that's difficult to see. Maybe the best way to sum up Japan and technology is that they like their technology like they like their coffee: fast, conveniently everywhere, and slightly weird when viewed by the outside world.

A Great Place to Live #2

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You can check out Paul's A Great Place to Live #1 here.

Paul pointed out to me that I have written two posts on why Japan is a great place to visit but none on what makes it a great place to live. This is strange since I’ve lived in Japan a lot longer than I’ve been a visitor. I think I lost my visitor status the first time I chose a Japanese squat toilet over a western toilet. I wasn’t trying to get in touch with my Japanese roots or anything, since I don’t have any, but was trying to avoid a cold toilet seat in the middle of winter. Either way, that was the day I became a man. Not really, but whatever.

Today is the day I come of age.

I’ve lived in Japan for over four years. I didn’t always live here for over four years, in fact, there was a time about four years ago that I was new. The plan was to stay in Japan for a year, travel a bit, become perfectly fluent in the language (how naive I was), and get back to America in time for supper. Of course, as all great stories go, our protagonist met a girl, who might have been his antagonist, but she was cute, and continues to be. I got married and now I’m still here. In that way Japan can be a trap, but it’s a happy trap. Like a mosquito getting trapped in sweet, sweet amber and then being used to clone dinosaurs.

"This bug is smiling at me"

Instead of sharing what is great about Japan as a whole I think I’ll use my experience of living in three prefectures as a way to show how, like any place, Japan is different depending on where you go. I’ll give away the ending and say as far as I can tell every place in Japan is A Great Place to Live.

I started my journey in Hyogo prefecture where I lived and worked for three years. Hyogo is in the Kansai region, which is an amazing place to live. I was thirty minutes to both Osaka and Kobe and fifty to Kyoto by train. Of course when any band does a Japanese tour, or whenever there is some neat event, nine times out of ten they will go to Tokyo. Well, eight times out of ten they will then go to Osaka or Kobe. So in a way, you get the convenience of living in a cultural hub city and also the variety that comes with living in a trifecta of metropoli. I'm aware that ‘metropoli’ isn't a word but it sounds much better than ‘metropolises’. Each city is also completely distinct from the others, from their histories to their people to their style of dress. A famous Japanese dialect is the “Kansai dialect” but that’s a bit of a misnomer since it varies between cities and sometimes within the cities themselves. Living in Kansai I loved the fact that in one day I could take a boat tour around Kobe harbor, go to a festival at a shrine in Kyoto, and party the night away in Osaka. I’ve never actually done that in one day, but I could have.

 I finally feel spiritually grounded. Now, to Hooters!

I loved it there but my wife’s company transferred her so I quit my job and moved south to Miyazaki Prefecture. Miyazaki’s current claim to fame is their fruit and meats, though recently they’ve had problems with foot and mouth disease. Thirty or so years ago Miyazaki was better known as a popular vacation and honeymoon spot, but when the yen became strong people started going overseas. A formerly famous place in Miyazaki was Sea Gaia. It was a huge indoor beach that would have been immensely popular had they built it near Tokyo or Dubai, but instead they built it next to the beach. Their target market was the people who want to go to the beach but hate being outside. You may have even seen pictures of this place since it made the rounds on the Internet a couple years back. Miyazaki was a great place to live, especially after all the busyness of being a near a big city. Everyone was laid back as they tend to be in warm places.

Amazing, those people look so lifelike.

I’m now on the newest leg of my journey. Last month my wife was transferred yet again, this time to Tokyo. I quit my job yet again, and followed her. At this moment I’m living it up in the world’s biggest metropolis. I’ve only been here for a week so I can’t pretend Tokyo and me are intimately familiar, but so far I like what I see. Everything I couldn’t get in Miyazaki I can get here, usually just by walking down the street. It’s a bit much sometimes. It was easy to choose a restaurant or bar in Miyazaki since the pickings were slim. Here you have the choice between that cool Thai restaurant, or that other cool Thai restaurant, or the five Indian restaurants, ten Italian and French places, or the fifteen Chinese restaurants, or the hundred Japanese Izakayas, or even an amazing Portuguese place that has quickly become my favorite. There was an event last night where you pay ￥3,000, go to four participating local restaurants or bars of your choosing, and get a drink and appetizer. All the places I went to were great and I feel like I’m just scratching the surface.

So yeah, Japan is A Great Place to Live. If it weren’t, I wouldn’t still be here. Of course I could go on and on about the friendly people, the world’s best customer service, clean streets, excellent public transportation, delicious and healthy food, etc., etc., but I'll have to save those for another post. That's the carrot on the stick. Hope to see you next time!

A Great App for Studying Japanese (that's not a Japanese study app)

A couple months ago my wife finally upgraded from her 6 year old (!!) cell phone to the iPhone 4s. As most people do, she went a bit app-download crazy and downloaded anything free which sounded remotely interesting. Out of the 40 or so pointless apps she got, there are some gems. One especially blew my mind. The app is called Discodeer. Play any song on your iPhone or Android phone and the app searches its database and displays the lyrics. That alone makes it a neat app, but what makes it amazing is just how many J-songs it has. It can find almost any J-band I throw at it. 

I listen to J-music exclusively. It's a lifestyle choice. It's good for learning Japanese but obviously only when you actually learn words from the songs you listen to. So while I'm on the bus or train and I don't feel like doing my Anki deck, I can just listen to a song I like while I read along to the lyrics.

Bonus recommendation: I recently got into The Pillows. Man, this song is catchy:

Just Another Manga Monday #9

Our featured manga this week is よつばと！, or Yotsuba&! in English. It's eleven volumes (so far). I own all of them but honestly I'm writing this before I've read the latest two. I'm taking a break since I read through the first nine too quickly and want to savor the last two.

But first! If you look a couple lines up you may notice that surprisingly this edition of "Just Another Manga Monday" is not written by Julz or Blue Shoe. In point of fact (you can never say "in point of fact" enough) this is my first time writing on the topic of manga. I haven't read many different manga but the ones I do like I read a ton of. Yotsuba&! is one of the chosen few.

The manga follows the misadventures of a strange, young Japanese (or is she?) girl named Yotsuba who recently moves to a new house with her father (or is he?). The stories are often laugh out loud hilarious. I don't like to read overly serious manga, and in the others I like there are always humorous parts, but I've never read one that caused me to burst out in a startle-my-wife level of laughter before. It's a manga unlike one I've seen. It's light hearted but never too goofy, it's thoughtful but never too serious. It's a manga that you can read any time and just feel better. This is all due to the eponymous character of Yotsuba.

Cicada-Yotsuba

Yotsuba is six years old, incredibly positive, and insatiably curious. All the stories center around her adventures and how they affect the people around her. The cast of characters is small and only consists of her father, her father's very few friends, and the family next door. It's drastically different than any other manga I read in that it has no overall plot. Each volume is broken up into stories. The first one has seven. And they actually are stories, not chapters. Each one is just a glimpse into the life of Yotsuba and the antics she gets up to. Sometimes one story will lead into another. For example, in one they plan to go camping and in the next they go camping, but just as often you'll go from eating ice cream to catching cicadas. For me, I crave continuity, but even though it sounds disjointed there is enough that connects the stories to prevent them from feeling too episodic.

Yotsuba&! isn't without it's flaws. Maybe flaws is an unfair word since the manga succeeds at what it sets out to do: share with you interesting stories from Yotsuba's life. That part is great but when I started the series I expected it to be more. In the first couple volumes you are presented with some mysteries: Where did Yotsuba come from? Where's her mother? Why does she randomly use English words? Hints are dropped which add to the mystery and my curiosity. Then those hints stop and that whole mystery is abandoned. Was it ever supposed to be a mystery? Is the author saying "it doesn't matter where she came from, just laugh at her going to the convenience store by herself."? Like I said before, I crave continuity, and I hoped this would turn into that overall plot that Yotsuba&! lacks. This probably only bothers me because I'm used to reading story driven manga. Even the episodic ones I read have an overarching story (Mushishi for example). I brought this up with my wife who is also a Yotsuba&! fan and she said this wasn't unusual for manga. I guess I don't read enough. Paul pointed out when I described this to him that it sounds like a newspaper comic. I guess it is in a way. I could draw a ton of parallels between this and Calvin and Hobbes. The benefit of Yotsuba&! being in manga format is that each story isn't limited to four panels. I'm digressing.

Many of our readers are studiers of Japanese or at least interested in Japanese culture. So am I, which is one of the main reasons I love Yotsuba&! so much and why I heartily recommend it to any likeminded people. Since I grew up in the northeastern US my childhood was pretty different to the kids of Japan. Even though I would never trade my summers of barbecuing with the neighbors or trick-or-treating on Halloween, I still wish I could somehow share in this collective childhood that it seems like a lot Japanese people have. There are the staples like catching cicada, or visiting the grandparents in the 田舎, or joining in a festival, or watching the fireworks in summer (well, I guess Americans have that one too). By reading Yotsuba&!, in a way I feel like I can get a sense of what it's like. Even if you don't care about any of that, at least Yotsuba is funny.

I rate Yotsuba&! four silver moons and one half star (my own personal rating system). It's good, I think you'd like it.

By the way, even if you've never heard of Yotsuba&! I'm sure you've seen one of the characters, ダンボー:

Originally from Yotsuba&!, someone from Amazon.com thought it was cool and made him their mascot. He's become quite famous from photographers taking artsy pictures of him.

Neat, artsy video of a guy studying Kanji

This is exactly how I studied Kanji using Heisig. Well, apart from the mosaics the guy drew.

100,000 Kanji from Tom C on Vimeo.

Should you study how to write Japanese by hand?

Sure! Why not?

Oh, do you mean: "is it worth my time to study how to write Japanese by hand?" Then no, probably not. Unless your job is testing calligraphy brushes for quality assurance.

I didn't always feel this way.

I started to seriously study Kanji a little over a year ago when I did Heisig's RTK1. Ever since then, writing hundreds of characters a day has been a huge part of my studying routine. I didn't give this much thought before starting. It just seemed like what I was supposed to do if I would ever achieve my goal of being "good" at Japanese. I was always taught the importance of The Three R's in school: Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic (my teacher wasn't a good speller). So then, doesn't reading and writing go together? Isn't that what literacy means: being able to read and write? The answer is yes because that's the definition. Someone might be able to read every book there is and still be illiterate according to a dictionary (which they could also read). Keeping this in mind I kept writing and writing and writing. Without realizing it I started to spend more time writing than I spent reading or studying new vocab and grammar.

After doing this for a year I became able to write pretty well. I can write 麒麟 and 憂鬱 without breaking a sweat; and I can even write 汗. Yet I knew I still had a long way to go since I still couldn't write every word that exists (it was a lofty goal). About a month ago I switched up my studying routine and put even more effort into writing and as a consequence even less into new grammar, vocabulary, and reviewing what I already knew. I even started a journal. It felt great since I was finally giving writing the amount of time it required (note: it requires all of time: all of time that has ever been and will be). That was until I happened upon this article on Tofugu the other day.

Koichi states that you shouldn't worry about learning how to write by hand since everyone uses cell phones and computers to communicate nowadays. The amount of time you need to study to become proficient is disproportional to how useful being proficient is. My first reaction was to push my computer away in anger as if it had gotten up in my grill. It somehow felt like a personal attack on how I had been studying for the past year. If he was right then I just wasted a lot of time. I spent the next half hour sitting in the dark, coming up with counter arguments in order to defend my year spent filling up notebooks with Kanji. I came up with two circumstances in which my study of Kanji proved undeniably useful: one time a Japanese coworker forgot how to write the Kanji for 'shoes' and asked me; the other time was when I wrote two New Year's cards in Japanese. I think I filled out a questionnaire in a restaurant once too. Hey, all that studying paid off!

So yeah, now I'm all but cutting out writing from my routine. I've put the emphasis on vocabulary and started reading a new book. I have so much more time now to focus on studying other aspects of Japanese that I haven't quite worked out where to allocate it all, but having too much time is one of those problems you want to have.

I am definitely not saying you should completely forgo learning how to write Japanese. You should know how to write Kanji correctly since you do actually have to write by hand from time to time, like for New Year's cards. I still swear by and highly recommend doing the Heisig system for many reasons beyond writing. After the four to six months it takes to get through RTK1 you will be as good at writing as you will probably need to be. Then if you ever need to fill out a form or something and you inevitably forget a Kanji compound, look it up on your phone and then write it. I go more into why I love Heisig so much here.

What do you guys think about writing by hand? Is it worth studying?

Life After JET: Joe

Paul asked me to do a blog entry about my life post-JET. Since I like the idea of me being able to say I blog, I follow through on his requests from time to time. This way I can tell people “Sure I have a blog! I’ve posted on it this many times.” But I don’t hold up any fingers. It adds to the mystery.

I was a JET. I’m not any more. I wonder, are you a JET? If you’re not, are you wondering what one is? JET is what you become when you can’t speak Japanese but want to work in Japan. The Japanese government hires you to teach a foreign language, 99% of the time that’s English, to Japanese grade school and high school kids. It was a sweet gig. But life had other plans and I got married to continue this charade of being a functional adult. My wife’s job was objectively better due to the higher pay, benefits, and my job having a built in time limit with no hope of career advancement. This means when my wife was transferred to a random branch office, as big Japanese companies like to do for mysterious and nefarious reasons, it was I who had to clear out my desk. I was sorry to give up some of the perks, like having a desk, but we agreed that it would be far easier for me with my lengthy list of credentials (SPEAKS THE ENGLISH) to get another decent job.

I moved from Kansai to Kyushu. I hired a moving company that took all my fragile stuff like my TV, my guitar, my computer, my Fabergé egg collection, and delivered them unharmed and for a reasonable price. The moving company was definitely better and cheaper than shipping it all myself.

Secretly I wasn’t planning on rushing out and getting a job. I figured I deserved a month off to just drink coffee and read manga. But I quickly learned that without the structure that a daily job brings, I act the same as a dog that is left at home without a cage: the dog wrecks the house and feels too apathetic to clean up after himself. Having no job was agony to me. I’d say goodbye to my wife in the morning, my nose pressed up to the glass of the window watching her go, a small whimper slipping past my droopy jowls, then I’d go and tear up some important paperwork and watch a Bill Murray movie. I quickly decided to check out the local International Association. I don’t know who funds these places but they’re all over Japan. They’re a place where foreigners can go to get cheap to free Japanese lessons, post messages on a literal bulletin board (with tacks!), and ask if there are any jobs around. The helpful people there directed me to their website’s forum where job offers are sometimes posted. I used the computer they had available, noticed a job offer for a kindergarten English teacher, and thought, what the heck, I’ll give it a shot.

I’m the youngest in my family so I never spent much time taking care of kids, but I saw Kindergarten Cop so I thought I had an idea of what to expect. My only real experience was when I volunteered a couple weekends a month at an orphanage with Paul and some other JETs (I wanted to rack up some karma points to sell on eBay). I did learn a thing or two about young kids though, and that is: boys will turn anything into a weapon, even weapons, which then become double weapons; and that girls will murder their best friend and a puppy to become a princess.

There are a couple English language kindergartens in my area. I didn’t even know that was a thing in Japan before I started working at one. It seems that the usual way of doing things is everyone speaks Japanese and then they have a half hour a day of “English time”. Obviously this is an awful way for kids to learn a language, and in fact, they don’t. They do things differently at the one I’m working at though. No Japanese allowed. And, who’d a thought, when you make kids speak English they speak English. It’s pretty amazing how good these Japanese kids are considering they’re only at the kindergarten a couple hours a day. The oldest kids who are around six years old can all understand fluent English spoken at normal speed, and can speak pretty well, but some kids are better than others. All of them have a high English vocabulary but when they try to make a complex sentence, some just don’t have the grammar, so they default to Japanese grammar with English words. This comes out bizarre. Obviously, Japanese being a different language and all, its grammar has parts that English lacks. For example the gobi “ne” and the particle “wa”. So at some point a student asked a teacher what “ne” is in English, and they were told “right?” Which is a fair translation I guess, but that spread throughout all the other kids and degraded to “rai?” And somehow “wa” became “is”, and “aru” became “I have it” regardless of who has the thing that exists, since in Japanese that’s just left up in the air. So the other day a girl wanted to tell me about a poisonous spider and she said, “Spider is, rai, poison I have it.” And I’m like, “What are you, a windtalker? Are you speaking in tongues?” They can all understand each other fine but it’s like these 70 kids have their own private language. At least they can understand us when we speak English, and next year they’ll go into the Japanese school system, start studying English the government-mandated way, and immediately lose everything they learned.

So that’s what I’m doing now, post-JET. I occasionally teach the odd English conversation class but mostly I try to get kids to speak a language that exists on earth.

Shiina Ringo's Radiohead Cover

Paul has posted about Shiina Ringo before.

@goodandbadjapan posted a link to a cool Shiina Ringo cover of Radiohead's Creep. I love Radiohead and I love Shiina Ringo so this was right up my alley. The cover isn't the best but it's pretty cool nonetheless.

Let's watch, won't we?

Kanji? More like Yawn-ji: My journey in learning Japan's written language

I'm very excited to be able to contribute to the 2011 May Japan Blog Matsuri and I want to thank NipponTheBus for hosting this month. His choice of topic for this Matsuri caught my eye since Kanji is something near and dear to my heart. Though, it didn't start out that way.

I live in Japan. I moved here three years ago, giving up friends, family, a good job, and my country. I did this for a couple reasons but at the top of the list in bold font was TO LEARN JAPANESE. I didn't like being the typical example of 4 years of mandatory American high school foreign language class: knowing that the Spanish equivalent of my name is Jose, being able to say "donkey" (why did we all learn that?), and knowing a couple naughty words. I wanted to be bi-lingual and Japanese was the language that fascinated me. Immersion is the way to go, right? So leaving everything I knew, I went off to a strange new country with the main goal of mastering a foreign language. But of course I didn't want to put in a lot of effort.

After arriving I soon picked up my first textbook: Minna no Nihongo Romaji Edition. Romaji, as most of you know, is Japanese not annoyingly written in Japanese. In fact, it's these characters right here. Aren't they easy? It was excellent! I could dive right into learning Japanese without all the bother of actually becoming literate. Right off the bat I could say "Watashi wa Joe desu" and state to the world that "As for me, I am (politely) Joe." It was an exciting time when every word I learned increased my knowledge of Japanese by a good percentage. But all was not well. My aversion to Japan's written language while studying had quickly led me to be able to order in a restaurant, but it didn't actually give me the ability to read menus. This limited my choice of restaurants to ones with pictures. I've even taken a photo with my mobile phone of the plastic display model of the meal I wanted and shown it to the waiter. Of course you can only tell so much from a picture. I'm not proud of all the horse meat I've eaten. Also one time I used conditioner as bodywash and complained about it's lack of lather.

Another pitfall I ran into while studying Japanese sans-Kanji is that memorizing words became incredibly difficult. Without these words grounded in my mind to a visual image they just became this kind of floating vagueness. They were all sounds without meaning, unconnected to anything. Imagine English if you didn't realize that rewind, remove, and remix all have the same prefix with the same meaning. Or worse, what if you assumed rewind and ridicule were related because of the similarity between 're' and 'ri'? Here's a vocab quiz for you: What's the Japanese word for 'teacher'? 'Student'? 'Menstruation'? If you answered 'sensei', 'seito', and 'seiri', you are right! Without Kanji you might not know that all those 'sei's are the same: 生. Knowing this, those words are much easier to remember. They're connected in your head so you don't have to memorize them in a vacuum. You just know what pieces go where and you build up vocab words like Legos or some other building simile. With my Romaji version of Minna no Nihongo I'd grind lonely vocab words into my brain for hours straight. Afterwards I would actually feel physically exhausted.

I continued to study Japanese in this broken way until I signed up for one-on-one Japanese lessons at my local international center. My teacher suggested I buy Minna no Nihongo. "No need!" I said, proudly pulling the textbook from my bag. She looked at the book and said, "WHAT IS THISSSSSSSSSSSS?!!" and smacked it from my hands. Actually she politely let me know I wasted $25 and lent me the actual Japanese version of my Japanese textbook until I bought my own copy. Looking at all those foreign squiggles, I could only describe them as uninviting. For the first couple lessons my teacher worked with me using flash cards to get my Hiragana and Katakana (the most simple and phonetic characters) down. At home I studied using the game Slime Forest which is a fun little RPG that helps you learn to read basic characters. It felt like a long time especially since it seemed like my Japanese studies were on pause. And even after I learned the characters, reading was still slow. But suddenly, one day, I realized I could read menus. Especially menus at foreign restaurants which are all in Katakana, the characters used almost exclusively for foreign words. I could order piza (pizza), and pasuta (pasta), and furaido poteto (fried potato: aka french fries), with ease! It was very exciting. Also I could finally tell bodywash from conditioner at the store.

Even with this new found pleasure in being able to sort of read some things, Kanji still didn't hold a great interest to me. I tried some Kanji workbooks which focused on rote memorization but I'd always quickly forget them. I was able to passively learn to read some. I could recognize the Kanji for male and female (important for restrooms), to go, the Kanji for the days of the week, and some other random ones. Most I couldn't write and none could I write well. "But what's the need, really? Everyone just uses mobile phones and computers nowadays," I reasoned. "What's the point of learning to write?" I dealt with the embarrassment of not being able to write my own address on forms with my head held high.

I continued in this vein for two years. I still tried to expose myself to as much Kanji as possible without really studying it. In emails with my girlfriend we would communicate entirely in Kanji so at least I would often see it. In truth you can get pretty far with this passive style of learning. By far I mean live in Japan and give the impression of being a functional adult. I was able to write and read the simple things my girlfriend and I would want to say to each other in emails. I could recognize the food I liked to order in restaurants and the Kanji on the ATM I needed to press to get money. But this has it's limit and I hit it. I plateaued hard. I started to no longer learn new Kanji since I didn't need to. As my Kanji learning stalled I found it affected everything. I wasn't learning many new words and even my grammar ceased to progress. I don't know what triggered it in my mind but suddenly I came to the realization that I was at a crossroad. Either I could give up and accept my mediocre Japanese, or I could dive in and succeed in what I set out to do those two years ago when I packed up and moved to Japan.

It was at this time that I came upon the site All Japanese All The Time. The proprietor of this Japanese learning establishment is Khatzumoto. Many of you might already know of this (in)famous gentleman. His creed is simply "All Japanese All The Time." Completely give up English and live entirely in a Japanese world. He did this and went from zero to fluency in eighteen months. By fluency I mean he landed an entirely Japanese job at a Japanese company in Japan and did all his work in Japanese. The amazing part is he did this while studying in America. I made my decision and abandoned English and sought Japanese enlightenment and followed Khatz like he was a Japanese-language Buddha.

The number one technique in Khatz's teachings is of course "All Japanese All The Time" but so close to this that it's basically technique 1.1 is learn the Kanji. ALL the Kanji. Well, not All all, but all the ones Japanese students learn in their ten years of schooling, about 2,050 Kanji. To do this he, and now I, heartily recommend the Heisig method. It's not easy and there are no shortcuts. It takes anywhere from three to six months (it took me five) to learn them all while studying every day for about an hour or more. Heisig is a smart guy who figured out that the reason Chinese people learn Japanese so much faster than English speakers is that they already know all the Kanji and their meanings. All they have to learn are the readings. In the Heisig method you learn how to write each Kanji plus its meaning given as one English keyword. But no readings. So in the end, after studying for 6 months or so you'll be on par with a Chinese person, but you won't be able to read a word. Sounds great (I say sarcastically)! But in reality it works incredibly well. All the Kanji you would confuse because they look similar are now no longer confusing since you know what each means. You start to notice that a bunch of words (like teacher, student, and menstruation) all have the same Kanji in common, making them easy to remember. But the best part which is endlessly fascinating to Japanese people is that you, a foreigner, can actually write your address now.

Two notebooks filled with Heisig practice Kanji

One of the most important points of the Heisig system is the order in which the Kanji are taught. Each Kanji is made up of a bunch of smaller Kanji pieces called radicals. Heisig ordered them in such a way that it feels like you're constantly building on Kanji you've learned before so you never have to rely on pure rote memorization. Also a big part are the mnemonics that break each Kanji into a little story. You use the story for awhile when writing but eventually you get to the point where you just remember and you don't need it any more.

I finished Heisig two months ago but I still study my Kanji every day for maybe a half hour so I don't lose it. Since finishing I read a lot more and get a lot out of watching Japanese movies with Japanese subtitles. I can't believe how quickly my Japanese is improving now that I'm completely comfortable with Kanji.

This has been a long post and I congratulate you for making it to the end! As a reward I'm going to give you some of my unsolicited advice. If you're studying Japanese, whether you just started or are a couple years into it, learn from my mistakes and do Heisig ASAP. If Heisig was the first thing I did when I came to Japan I know I'd be completely fluent by now. I wasted two years half-arsing it. There are no shortcuts but there are ways that are better than others. And the key to Japanese is through Kanji.

Japan and My Tonsils: Celebrity Doctors and The Looming Surgery

Read part 1 and 2 here.

Part 3

A brief recap: After coming to Japan almost 3 years ago I somehow caught a nasty bug that would often leave my throat in pain and me having to waste my precious sick days on actually being sick. It finally got to the point where I decided I needed to get my tonsils out at the tender age of 25. Per the suggestion of a friend I decided to see a "celebrity doctor" who I was hoping could also be my surgeon.

Besides all the advice I had taken from Dr. Phil which would always backfire hilariously, I've had very little experience with celebrity doctors in my life. I found the doctors in Japan that were simply at the normal level of popularity weren't cutting it so I needed to take it up a notch. The ear, nose, and throat doctor I decided to see, who I will call Dr. Ninki, had been featured on a couple of news programs for being super-great. Or something. I don't know. In the morning I called his office to make an appointment for the evening. I was told by the perky receptionist that because of Dr. Ninki's enormous popularity they could not accept reservations for any time after four in the afternoon. Apparently that's the designated free-for-all time. I decided to just go with the hope that I wouldn't be stuck in the waiting room indefinitely.

The place was easy to find. It was in a shopping center near the train station to which I had arrived. After entering the building, I was a bit disheartened to see that the waiting room was completely filled to capacity. There were forty people seated on an extremely long couch that ran along every wall as well as a circular couch in the center. I talked to the receptionist, gave her my info, and was told to be seated and the doctor would see me momentarily. Momentarily, eh? We'll see.

I noticed that when the nurse would come out to call a patient's name, she would always call five people at a time. This seemed strange since I knew Dr. Ninki was just one, albeit famous, guy. After a relatively brisk 30 minutes my name was called with four other patients. We were taken back to another waiting area consisting of one small couch. We were told that as our names were called we should slide down the couch so the next patients could sit down.

Let me describe the sight I beheld:
The room was huge and very busy. Thirty patients were spread throughout while seven or so nurses darted around checking on them. To my right was a row of strange machines. Patients were seated in front of them, intently breathing into hoses. Through a doorway I could see another room with people lying down with IVs in their arms. Scattered throughout the main room were more people seated with IVs. Directly in front of me was a display that had screencaps of all the television news programs Dr. Ninki had appeared on. In the center of the room were two patients seated on reclining chairs. Between them was a table neatly covered with ten copies of every type of shiny metal ear, nose, and throat checking instrument. Next to this table stood Dr. Ninki checking one patient then the other while dictating notes to the nurse that stood by his side.

After five minutes my name was called and I sat on one of the reclining chairs in the center of the room. The doctor came up to me and looked pleased to have a foreigner to speak to. He started off in English asking me what was wrong. He was very charismatic. I explained how often I got strep throat and that the antibiotics I was taking weren't working very well. He nodded and looked at my throat with various instruments. Then he suddenly stuck a tiny camera in my mouth. He took a picture which appeared on a fancy TV screen next to my head. He pointed and explained that these were tonsils and that they were swollen. I knew this already but still couldn't help but be impressed. He said he'd give me an injection of antibiotics and that I should go with the nurse. The whole encounter with Dr. Ninki took under two minutes. I didn't have time to ask about surgery but I thought I'd see him again for the injection which I nervously imagined would go right in my throat.

The nurse led me to the breathing machines. The first one was for the nose and had a hose with two small nozzles on the end. The second one was for the throat and went in the mouth. They emitted some kind of mist. At first I thought I was supposed to inhale the mist but that just made me cough embarrassingly. The nurse told me to stop breathing it in. I wasn't entirely sure how to breathe with a tube in my mouth without breathing from the tube in my mouth but I did my best. I had a feeling that these machines were just to stall for time.

After that the nurse took me to the room which had IVs hanging from the ceiling connected to the arms of people lying down on beds. It reminded me of the scene in Inception at the opium den-esque cellar. I was given a bed and the nurse stabbed my arm with the IV. Me, still expecting an injection, asked what was in this liquid that was now flowing into my arm. "Antibiotics," she said. Oh, so this is what he meant by injection. I was glad the image I had of getting a needle to the throat was wrong.

Finishing the IV, I was ushered to the front desk where I paid and received my little baggy of antibiotic tablets. I was happy to see they were an exceptionally strong dosage. Though, I was sorry that I never got another chance to talk to the doctor about surgery.

On the train ride home I realized my throat was already feeling better. When I arrived at my apartment I looked in the mirror and my throat looked noticeably improved. It was then I realized that in those two minutes I talked with Dr. Ninki, he listened better than any doctor I'd had in Japan. He really does deserve the moniker of "famous doctor".

Despite my somewhat bizarre but successful experience with Dr. Ninki, I still knew that I should get my tonsils out. I called some hospitals and found a local one that did tonsillectomies. After getting a referral from a different hospital (a convoluted process) I was able to talk with a surgeon. He looked in my throat and agreed I should have them out ASAP. The surgery was scheduled in two weeks time.

And thus ends this edition of Japan and My Tonsils. Be sure to check back for the final chapter "Under the Knifu"!

Pedestrian Rage

I'm taking a little break from my tonsil adventures to revisit an old topic I covered in my Four Biggest Aggravations of Japan. There has since been some rearranging and I decided my number four ranked aggravation has shot up to number one: "Nobody Pays Attention While Walking". Actually it shot way past one. Putting it on a list of aggravations is like putting Jack Nicholson from The Shining on a list of people with a case of the Mondays.

I'm a pretty happy guy. My emotions stay level and I never lose my temper. Yet whenever I'm outside and walking in Japan I am constantly angry. And not just a little T.O.ed, I'm talking a barely contained simmering rage. Why is this? NOBODY PAYS ATTENTION WHILE WALKING. Actually, that's not fair. I can't make such a broad sweeping generalization about a society. I'll be generous and say half the people don't pay attention while walking. Meaning 50% of the population are pedestrian inept, sidewalk novices, incompetent at strolling, and jerks. In video game terms, they have poor path-finding.

The other day I was making my weekly trek to Tsutaya to rent some DVDs. As usual, people weren't paying attention, but that's OK. When I see someone down the block walking towards me on one side of the sidewalk while they are engrossed in a novel, I always move to the other side. I don't mind getting out of the way of people with everything being equal. But there are some times when I refuse to move out of someone's way. One of those times is when a precedent has been set:

Diagram 1

As you can see in diagram 1, me and the Green Guy are simply walking down the block like two normal human beings about to pass each other. Jerk Salaryman isn't aligned with either of us, but that's OK. He can keep walking straight and we'll still be able to pass without trouble, though a bit close, or he could take a step over and fall in line with Green Guy thereby making this problem free. Green Guy passes me which set the precedent. Everyone now should walk on their left!

Diagram 2

I've been here long enough to know better than to assume people will simply use their senses to take in information, process that information, and decide on what logical action to take. So I looked at Jerk Salaryman to see what he would do. We briefly made eye contact at which point he ignored the precedent and did not take the only two options available. In diagram 2 you can see instead he fell in line with me and began to look absolutely anywhere except straight ahead. He exaggeratedly examined signs, looked straight up at the sky, straight down at his shoes, and in general made a big show of how he was not paying attention.

This is unacceptable.

Similar things happen every time I'm out walking but this time, for once I am sure, was absolutely on purpose. I refused to move over and continued to look right at him as he pretended to not notice that I existed. As we were about to collide he finally relented, looked at me, and stepped out of the way. I glared at him. And that was it. But that wasn't it! I was still angry! Angrier than I had been in a long time. And it was mostly from confusion. WHY DO THAT? Why purposely walk at someone, pretend to not pay attention, and try to get them to move out of your way? Why does this sort of thing happen so often? I replayed that brief couple of seconds in my head as I walked, this time grabbing him, shaking him, and demanding an answer. Why do you and your ilk do this?! I must know what thought process can end with trying to make simply walking down the sidewalk difficult!

Even if I had imagined the part in the beginning where we made eye contact and he really was oblivious to my existence, he still inexplicably moved to one side of the sidewalk without first checking if anyone was there. At best he deserves to go to foot-traffic court and lose his walker's license for such a grievous moving violation.

The most frustrating part about all of this is there is nothing I can do about it. I can't adapt now and purposely not pay attention. I'd feel like a jerk if I was always playing chicken to see who could pay attention the least. Also, not watching where you're going seems awfully dangerous.

Anyway, am I alone in getting angry about this? When I'm out walking I feel like the last bastion of sanity on the sidewalk but they say crazy people think everyone else is crazy so... maybe I am! Maybe people see me and say, "look at that maniac, using his eyes in order to avoid obstacles. What a loon!"

Please comment on my sanity below.

(I like turtles.)

Japan and My Tonsils: The Healthcare Strikes Back

Read Part 1 here.


Part 2

When last we saw our hero, me, I had just recovered from my first bout of Japanese strep throat. I had taken the four days worth of antibiotics, which seemed to do the trick. I felt better, my fever was gone, and my throat was pain free. I was a little concerned however, since my tonsils seemed to be a little swollen. I decided not to worry too much and went on with my life.

After another couple months I got sick again, went to a different doctor who became my primary care physician, and got more medicine. Again, only four days of antibiotics. Then two months later I got sick again. Another four days of the same antibiotics. Three months later, sick again. Four days of antibiotics. I would have been concerned except my doctor seemed incredibly unconcerned. I would go see him, he'd ask what's wrong, and I'd say the same thing as always. He would laugh, "Haha! Again? OK, here's your four days of antibiotics." This went on for years. I kept saying I should have my tonsils out but the doctor said it wasn't necessary. In hindsight, I should have gotten a second opinion. Maybe I could have convinced someone else to give me stronger medicine for more than four days and finally had this strep knocked out for good. I still wasn't confident enough in my Japanese, though, to go to a non-English speaking doctor. And when it comes to English speaking doctors in Japan, the pickings are slim.

Two months ago, over the winter break, I went back to America to visit my family. Two days into the trip I got strep again, as usual. Fortunately I was expecting this and already looked into how my insurance worked to make sure I'd be covered. I was excited. An American doctor with American drugs. The strength of American drugs was probably best summed up by Jerry Seinfeld who said, "Figure out what will kill me and then back it off a little bit." I got ten days of meds at two grams a day. That's almost seven times more powerful than the Japanese meds for over twice as long. Each pill was almost the size of a Werther's Original. It was some powerful stuff. I felt better after two days but of course took the pills to completion. I hoped this would be the end of it.

A month later, back in Japan, I got sick again.

I went back to my normal doctor for the last time. I brought the empty bottle of the giant America pills as proof and explained that if these didn't work, then obviously weak pills for four days wouldn't either. I asked him again about surgery or his opinion on taking literally any other option instead of the same pills for four days. He said he still didn't think I needed surgery. It was just because of this dry Japanese air that I was getting sick. He said he'd try something new though. He handed me my prescription, reminded me to gargle, and sent me on my way. It wasn't until I picked up my meds that I realized it was a prescription for the same pills as before, for five days.

I took the pills but after four days I saw little improvement. It's a bit scary when antibiotics stop working. I realized I needed a change. I needed stronger drugs, or surgery, or something. I didn't really know what to do. I decided to leave that to the professionals. I noticed there was an ear, nose, and throat doctor near my house. My Japanese had improved by this point and I felt confident that I could make myself understood. I went and at first I thought he was great. He looked at my throat with a bunch of different shiny metal sticks and depressors and magnifying thingies. He even wore that classic doctor's reflective circle on his forehead. He seemed confident until I told him that I was already on antibiotics. He asked to see them and I showed him. "But these are for five days! These aren't working?" No, I told him, they weren't. I showed him the American med container and pointed out how much stronger they were. I asked if maybe he could just prescribe me more meds to take with these antibiotics. He sat there with his head down looking at his notes, taping his pen, and muttering "geez, what to do..." Eventually he made a decision, wrote me a script for more meds, and I left.

I was happy. That doctor had seemed to take this seriously. He hadn't laughed and brushed it off like I was used to. I looked at the prescription and was pleased to not recognize it, meaning it was something new. I had hope. I took the prescription to the pharmicist to have it filled. She asked if I had any questions. I asked her if I could take ibuprofin with this medication since I found ibuprofin was always good for pain and fever. She said, "well... this is ibuprofin... so no." Wait, what? I asked her to clarify; these aren't antibiotics? "Nope! Ibuprofin! Here you go! Odaijini!"

Ibuprofin?! A pain killer?! I don't need a pain killer! I need a strep killer! I was frustrated. I went to two different doctors and neither of them seemed to be taking this seriously. Then I started thinking, well maybe it's not serious. Maybe everything I've heard from others and the entire internet is wrong and strep isn't actually dangerous. Maybe I could just let my body fight it off on it's own.

No. I want my tonsils out. I'm sick of them and I want them out, I finally decided. I will deal with these amatures no more! It was time to find a surgeon.

In America, as far as I know, all ear, nose, and throat doctors are also surgeons. They're all qualified to remove tonsils. I wasn't sure of the situation in Japan but I decided I needed to find a good one. If he didn't do surgery then maybe he could recommend a hospital that does. I put my request on Facebook to see if my Japan based friends new of any good doctors. I got a reply from Paul's (this site's owner's) girlfriend, Yoshie. She had taken it upon herself to do research and it appeared there was a famous doctor that was only about 40 minutes away. A famous doctor? Sounds great! I went immediately.

What followed was the most bizarre experience I've ever had at a doctor's office. It cannot be put into words. Except it will be.

Stay tuned for the next chapter, Japan and my Tonsils: Celebrity Doctors and The Looming Surgery!

Japan and My Tonsils: An Epic Tale of Love, Tribulations, and Redemption(?)

Part 1

I hate my tonsils. I hate them and I want them out. Years I've spent alternating between agony and fear. Agony as they swell to the size of golf balls in my throat, raising my temperature, and preventing me from eating delicious foods since starving always seems the better option to the pain of swallowing. The fear would set in as soon as I felt better. As soon as they shrunk to a size that could pass for normal I'd worry about the next time. Possibly the cruelest part was that one of my greatest joys, a night out with friends singing karaoke and drinking beer, seemed to be the magical combination that would nearly always lead to my personal tonsil apocalypse.

Why don't I just get them out? The issue is complicated by my current location. In America I'd simply go to an ear, nose, and throat doctor, pay $5000, and my tonsils would be gone as soon as the check cleared. But I'm not in America anymore. I'm in Japan. The medical system here works a bit differently. But I'm not going to tell you about it. I'm going to show you. I will take you on my adventure from my very first week in Japan until today.

July 2008

It was a long flight. I left from Los Angeles International Airport and arrived in Haneda after 11 hours of flight time. It was also a late night as my new friends and I celebrated our first night in Tokyo, Japan. Long flights, new germs, lack of sleep, and alcohol: the perfect recipe for getting sick. My comrades and I spent four days in close quarters as we attended lectures on how to adapt to our new lives as English teachers in Japan. This time for me was one of wide-eyed discovery. To the new, unwelcome residents of my tonsils however, it was the incubation period.

The morning of the fourth day we set off on the Shinkansen to Osaka. I noticed I had a bit of a scratchiness in my throat and voiced my concern to my new friend, Brian. "It's just allergies!" Oh the young fool I was believed him. We enjoyed the 3 hour trip, making new friends and drinking green tea.

We finally arrived in Osaka and switched to buses to continue our journey to Hyogo Prefecture where we would meet our representatives from each of our respective schools. I was starting to feel a bit cold despite the hot, humid, Japanese summer. I felt a pang of worry as I realized I was indeed becoming sick. "No matter," thought I, being the burly, young man I was, "Immune system! I leave this to you! I have other matters to attend to." My immune system was too busy to respond. My mind moved on to other things as we arrived at the meeting hall. There I met my school's representative who was to be my English speaking go-between. He would help me in all matters in which I may need help while adapting to Japanese life. I said goodbye to my new friends, swearing to contact each other once we acquired mobile phones and the Internet, and continued traveling to the high school in which I would be an English instructor.

The ride was pleasant with interesting conversation. I was happy to learn I would be teaching with this person. My new friend.

Arrived at school. Something wrong. I was hot now. Couldn't think... straightly. Tired. Meeting principal. Hello! Bow. I konnichiwa... hajime... yoroshiku... Bow? Ah tea, yes tea is good. It reminds me of... other hot drinks I've drunk. Yes, let's see the school. It looks nice... where are your beds? I would like to try out... pillows. Tired...

After a couple hours it was finally time to see my apartment. My go-between and the office clerk took me. The bed looked wonderful and I yearned to simply jump inside. But first I had to be shown all the other wonderful details of my new apartment. Push this button for hot water, push this button for hot air, push this button for flushing the toilet, buttons, buttons, buttons. Switches for lights, switches for power, switches, switches, switches. Plugs and outlets and appliances and machines. Cracks and holes and dents and dings. How much time had passed? I wasn't sure. Now it's time for the tour of the city. "NO! BED! Bed would then be too far for sleeping in!" the voice of my immune system yelled in my head. Ol' immuney finally spoke, and he was right. I was sad to admit defeat after trying so hard to make a good first impression as a young, go-getting teacher, but I was finished. I told them I felt sick and just needed to sleep. My predecessor was still around the city and he could give me the tour later. They exchanged looks (concern? disappointment?) and wished me well.

The next day I decided I was sick. Seriously sick. My throat hurt. It was a test of will to swallow. My tonsils were not looking good. They obviously were taking one for the team. I knew what was wrong now though. I had seen this before in childhood. Strep. I was sure of it. I got it fairly often as a kid but hadn't had it in years. I had just arrived in Japan but I thought it was already time to meet my first Japanese doctor.

Strep throat isn't a disease to be taken lightly. Caused by group A Streptococcus bacteria, strep throat usually starts with the swelling of the tonsils which soon become covered in white patches. Other common symptoms are pain/difficulty swallowing, nausea, high fever, and low energy. It differentiates from other throat infections by a lack of coughing and congestion. It is very common in children but rare in adults. It's seen as an annoyance nowadays. Start on a regimen of antibiotics and you'll feel better almost immediately. It's easy to forget the days before Penicillin. This disease was the deadly and feared scarlet fever. If you've ever read the children's story The Velveteen Rabbit the very sick child had strep. Strep if left untreated can do serious damage to heart, kidneys, and other organs. Friends of my parents made the decision to let their daughter recover naturally from strep without antibiotics. Sadly, a month later, she passed away from a ruptured appendix. The link between the untreated strep and her appendix was theorized but not proven. Having recently heard this story I knew that I needed some good, strong medicine.

I went into work and talked to my go-between, "I need a doctor. And medicine." OK! Phone calls were made and he took me to a nearby English speaking doctor. It was his one day a week at that location so I was lucky. I explained my problem, told him I was allergic to Penicillin, and he prescribed me another antibiotic, a cephalosporin. Four days worth. Four days? I thought the worldwide standard for antibiotics was seven to ten days? Isn't four days the point when you feel completely better and stupid people stop taking their medicine and end up creating unstoppable, drug-resistant super-bugs? Well, maybe this is some powerful stuff. I paid my 1000yen, about $10 then, for the drugs and office visit (thank you cheap, Japanese health care!).

I took the medicine and after four days felt great.

But it was not to last.

This tale is not over. It is merely beginning. This was simply the first act. The start of my three year tonsil hell. Stay tuned for the next edition, Japan and My Tonsils: The Healthcare Strikes Back!